So we’re married. Now what?
Money Advice in Marriage
by Efren Ll. Cruz, RFP®
Question: We just tied the knot and are excited about our future adventures together. Do you have advice on how to make our marriage smooth sailing particularly when it comes to money? (Asked at “Ask a Friend, Ask Efren” free service at www.personalfinance.ph, SMS, Viber, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Instagram, and Facebook)
Answer: I will just share with you a wedding toast given by the father of the bride.
“Congratulations and best wishes to the newlyweds. Now that your marriage is official, I’m sure that there will be sweet music to fill your days.
Marriage is magical. A husband will see how his share in your clothes cabinet magically shrinks at a seemingly insignificant but constant annual rate. By retirement, all the space he’ll have left is a pigeonhole. It is by design because as they say, you cannot bring your possessions to heaven anyway.
Marriage makes time magically stand still for a husband especially when his wife is out shopping.
Husbands like to buy toys for the big boys. They buy mountain bikes just to see up to what age they can still mount them bikes. They buy treadmills for hanging towels to dry indoors. And their formula for the maximum number of guitars to own is N = N + 1, where N is the maximum number of guitars they claim they need to own. Go figure.
Seriously, when it comes to money, manage it like a corporation would. Have a yearly budget meeting that would separate your must spend from your may spend. Always have your long-term goals in mind when formulating and spending that budget.
Do not try to save a percentage of your income. Instead, try to live on the complement of that percentage of your income. Both of you need to approve of any spending in excess of the budget.
Remember that by law, assets received after the wedding, with the exception of inheritance and donations, are absolute community or joint property of the husband and wife.
But for the may spends, do have separate discretionary funds that you can spend without the approval of the other, provided spending is kept within budget.
Marriage is not a game of thrones, for as of today, that game is over. There will be no more “stranger things” as you will get to know who is truly the lord of the wedding rings.
Talking about rings, nearly 33 years of marriage, it was only this year when I noticed how dirt accumulates in the grooves that were designed around my wedding ring. You see, I’ve grown so accustomed to wearing my ring that I would hardly take it off even when I was doing filthy handyman jobs around the house.
So, to get the dirt off, I tried to soak my ring in powerful hydrogen peroxide and even boil it in water with laundry powder. They were epic fails and I was almost resigned to bringing my ring to a jeweler for replating. But with dogged determination, I succeeded in making my ring sparkling clean again just with gentle and regular scrubbing using the rough side of an ordinary kitchen sponge, laundry soap and tap water.
Marriage is a work in progress and yours will be no exception. But whatever rough patches you encounter, you can always overcome them with the constant gentle scrubbing of your relationship so that it shines all throughout. Do that and there will be no need for any drastic action.
You’ve only just begun to live, white lace and promises. You may not get a mansion on a hill, mink coats and diamonds by the score. But if you love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind and then love each other and others as much as you love yourselves, your marriage should turn out just fine.
May the Lord our God bless your union!”
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Efren Ll. Cruz is a Registered Financial Planner and Director of RFP® Philippines, seasoned investment adviser, bestselling author of personal finance books in the Philippines and a YAMAN Coach™. He also writes for the Philippine Daily Inquirer’s Money Matters column HERE.
For more money advice on marriage, you can check out the column For Richer Or Poorer on Inspirations.ph every Friday or send questions directly to yaman@personalfinance.ph.
Copyright 2022 Efren Ll. Cruz, RFP®. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written consent of the author.
