‘We felt that it was important to become husband and wife. With the pandemic, you can never be sure of what will happen in the future’
James Albert Carpena and Kitty Elicay met online while playing Left 4 Dead. Though they were from opposite ends of the greater Manila area–Albert hailing from Laguna while Kitty growing up in Antipolo, he took great efforts to win her over. “He won my heart because of his sincerity and his efforts to be with me–after his morning classes he would fetch me all the way from LRT-Santolan station so I can sleep peacefully on the train. Sometimes, he would wait for me to finish class and then take me to the train station before heading home to Laguna,” Kitty says. Both Albert and Kitty were studying at University of Santo Tomas at this time.
On Albert’s birthday in 2009, the two became a couple. So perhaps it was fitting that on Kitty’s birthday ten years later, they pledged to forever and were engaged. Albert and Kitty planned to wed early in 2021 and when the pandemic hit, it threw their plans off course like most couples.
But the two held on and after many quarantine classification changes, wedding date rescheduling, and postponed flights of immediate family members, Albert and Kitty finally made it legal on May 29, 2021 with an intimate wedding at San Pedro Calungsod Parish – Sanctuary of Padre Pio.
Below, Kitty candidly shares with Inspirations.ph how she and Albert managed to get through the mental, emotional, and physical stress of wedding planning in a pandemic–and why it’s all worth it.
Did you have a theme for your wedding?
We didn’t really decide on a theme, just the colors that we wanted our entourage to wear. Eventually, we thought of having the theme “lavender garden,” just because my favorite color is purple and his is green.
We were supposed to get married on January 8, 2021. The plan was to have around 200 guests and have an outdoor reception. For our wedding in May, we cut down the guests to 40. Just a few of our closest friends and our family. We did not have principal sponsors because many of them were seniors. We did not insist on the guests to attend—we wanted them to feel safe and if they did not want to risk their health, then we respected it. We opted instead to have a livestream of our wedding. That way, our original invitees could still have that semblance of attending our ceremony.
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What were the challenges encountered during the wedding preparation?
We had to move the wedding date thrice—we felt January was still too risky for everyone. We had settled on May 21, but at the last minute my mom and sister’s flight from the U.S. was postponed. Because of the 14-day quarantine, they wouldn’t be able to come out in time for our wedding. So, we had to move it again a week later to May 29.
Of course, the biggest challenge was making sure that everyone in attendance would be safe. Having an intimate wedding was a blessing in disguise—since we had cut down the number of guests, we could allot the budget originally meant for them to secure an antigen test for everyone. All our suppliers and guests were tested before the wedding and thankfully, everyone was negative.
How did you handle the challenges?
Honestly, we just let go and let God. Getting married during the pandemic is physically, mentally, and emotionally taxing. At the start of the year, I still had energy to plan. I was excited, even. We had a lot of ideas on how we wanted our wedding to look like, how we wanted to personalize the experience, but as the cases rose and the quarantine measures tightened a second time around, we almost gave up.
A lot of our original invitees actually thought the wedding was not going to push through. That was because we didn’t have the energy to inform them about our progress. We also weren’t sure if the wedding was going to happen because of the ever-changing guidelines.
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We were prepared to get married with just 10 people in the church. My only requirement then was for our parents to be in attendance. But in the month leading to the wedding, they eased the quarantine measures a little bit.
How did you feel during the wedding?
It was surreal. Albert and I couldn’t sleep at all before the big day. Apart from the fact that we still had some things to do—cram our wedding vows for instance—we couldn’t believe all our planning, all the stress and sleepless nights we went through, would finally come to an end.
We were both very happy. It wasn’t the wedding that we imagined at first, but it turned out better than we expected. There were advantages of having an intimate wedding after all.
All our guests couldn’t help but gush how beautiful our wedding was. I think it was because we just kept things simple and low-key—but everyone in attendance knew the story of our relationship, and the journey we took to get there. I guess that’s what made it even more special, everyone could feel the love radiating from one another.
What were your most memorable moments from your wedding?
First was the bridal march. I had kept the song a secret from Albert.
I wanted to incorporate my love for K-dramas and our shared love for violin in my bridal march, so I searched for OSTs that would suit our love story. When I read the lyrics to IU’s I Give You My Heart from the Crash Landing On You OST, I knew it was the one.
I’m super thankful that the Manila Philharmonic Orchestra agreed to my request to learn the song and play it for our wedding. There was just something magical about the violin and everyone got teary-eyed from the first note. Albert did not even know the song and yet the piece moved him to tears as well.
Second, just the fact that everything looked magical. The church was beautiful, the flower arrangement looked elegant, and our priest was kind and took the time to get to know us so that he could incorporate our love story to his homily. The Church also allowed us to say our personal vows to each other, which really made our wedding even more special.
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Third was that our beloved dog was able to attend our wedding. Apart from Albert, it was Sadie who got me through the pandemic and I really wanted her to be with us on our special day. I didn’t even train her to keep quiet but she was so behaved throughout the ceremony (only barked thrice but was easily pacified lol) and didn’t disrupt the ceremony.
Fourth was the surprise dance that Albert did for our reception. He knows how much I love the K-pop group Super Junior and even before he had proposed, I was already asking him to dance Sorry, Sorry during the reception. Of course, he refused.
Little did I know that he had planned a surprise all along. I was really happy and touched that he took the time to learn the steps (the night before the wedding!)
Any advice for other couples who are planning to get married or will be getting married in the time of a pandemic?
I think the most important is set your priorities. If it is important for the two of you to get married now, then really take the time to make sure that everyone who will be at your wedding—whether they are a guest or a supplier—will be safe.
Albert and I pushed through with the wedding because at that point, we felt that it was important to become husband and wife. With the pandemic, you can never be sure of what will happen in the future, so we wanted to make everything legal so we can take care of each other come what may.
Tips for a safe wedding or celebration:
- Have everyone tested, especially if you are planning to have more guests. It may be expensive, but it will at least lessen the transmission risk because of having people from different households gathered for your celebration. We initially asked our guests to shoulder the test and they agreed, because it was for everyone’s safety. However, since we had leftover budget, we just decided to shoulder it for everyone.
- Comply with the safety measures set by the local government unit where you are getting married. Part of the reason why we pushed through with the wedding was because San Pedro Calungsod Parish is an open-air church. They were also very strict with social distancing and the attendees were asked to put on their masks throughout the ceremony. We also complied with the allowed number of guests—actually, it was also way less than the allowed capacity.
- If you are holding a reception, do away with the VIP tables and just group together people from the same household. Honestly, the VIP seating won’t make much of a difference. Grouping guests who are in the same household will also help keep guests safer since they will have less reason to interact outside their circle. Caterers also ensure that the seating capacity of a table is halved so that guests can still have “social distancing.”
- Keep the program short. Your guests will still have a lovely time even if you do away with the frills of a reception program.
- Follow the minimum health and safety protocols. Yes, everyone tested negative during our wedding, but it wasn’t a reason to forget to follow safety protocols. Just remember to wear a mask and face shield especially if you are indoors, watch your distance, and always wash your hands.
