From heartbreak to finding the one
Psalm Jossseb Balingit and Kathleen Leira O. Maliksi were just officemates but a shared experience turned their friendship into romance. Interestingly, it wasn’t the most pleasant of experiences that allowed Seb and Kath to see each other in another light. The two bonded over heartbreaks and that led them to find loyal and lasting love in each other. Seb and Kath’s intimate wedding was held on July 30, 2021 at San Antonio de Padua, Silang, Cavite.
“…as our priest has described us, we were each other’s wounded healers,” Kath says. Below, Kath shares in detail how their shared pain ultimately led them to the altar and how she was able to be a chill bride despite the changing protocols.
How did you meet and fall in love?
We were officemates for a short while, and never really had that spark between us, we were friends and I can say we were somehow close. Seb was known as someone cautious when it comes to girls, he would always explicitly say how he never wanted any girl near him because he has a very jealous girlfriend. Thus we dubbed him as, “under the saya” but he would rather have that notion than have a fight with his ex, and as for me when you asked him what his first impression of me was he would always say “maluwag na girlfriend” I firmly believe that in any relationship, you should never lose your individuality. That was what we usually discussed, how I do not believe in the relationship he is into.
A few months passed, Seb resigned from our company and we somehow lost communication, not until I learned that he was single. It was big news in our group because if you know Seb, you would just somehow know he would never do anything that would cause the breakup. And indeed, we learned he was cheated on by the girl, our friends meet up, we consoled him, and he was broken. During that time, I was also on a brink of a breakup. My boyfriend then cheated on me with another girl and I just knew they are actually 6 months together or God knows how long! It was heartbreaking as well. I thought I was in a very stable relationship, we were planning to get married, we already have a house and our parents have met several times.
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To cut the long story short, I was broken as well. Months passed, our friends would always tease us how Seb and I are the perfect match, he was looking for a “non-toxic” relationship and I just wanted someone who would be very faithful to me. That never crossed our minds, we were friends, and we were good with that.
But as they say, there’s no harm in trying. We tried to go out, we met in a very unassuming place, McDonald’s. Just to hang out. But this time, it was different, we weren’t with our group of friends, it’s just us discussing our heartbreaks!
Weeks passed and the atmosphere between us changed, suddenly, I was longing for his messages, we were seeing each other more frequently and we had deeper conversations. Seb was much more than how I initially thought of him. He was cool and not afraid, he was gentle and he would always think of how I would feel before he does anything. He was exactly the man I have prayed for. I was so specific with my prayer after my last heartbreak, and I was in awe of how God gave me signs to see that he has Seb prepared for me. Seb braved all my fears, he made sure I was healed, and as our priest has described us, we were each other’s wounded healers.
We dated for two and a half years until he popped the questions, it was my easiest yes.
Did you have a theme or motif for your wedding?
Yes, our motif was Simple Elegance. This is exactly what I had in mind. We wanted to make our wedding simple, fun, and personalized. I personally prepared all the simple details that would speak of us as a couple.
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The whole plan was to make it an intimate family event with just a few of our closest friends. Probably, the only adjustment made was that our initial guest list was 80, however, two days before our wedding, IATF released a new protocol and we were asked to reduce guests to 50. It was so hard, but our friends were very understanding.
What were the challenges you encountered during the wedding preparation?
Because I was a very chill bride, and I knew from the start we would only have our family and closest of friends as our guests, I never really worried too much, so I can say, aside from the IATF protocols, there weren’t really any challenges. Also, since I was I think 20, I already have a wedding in mind. I knew it would be simple and fun.
How did you feel during the wedding?
You wouldn’t believe I was so chill. I slept like it was a normal day, I was looking forward to experiencing wedding blues, but I haven’t. I ate during the preparation, which they repeatedly told me I must eat even if I am not hungry, but truth be told, I was hungry during the preparation especially in the pictorial. Maybe, it was because I knew I am marrying the man of my prayers. It was something I am excited about. Also, I am ecstatic that my Dad was there with us, he works abroad and it feels good that he was able to come home despite the changes in quarantine protocols. I remember my only fear then was my Dad being trapped in a hotel for quarantine.
What were your most memorable moments from your wedding?
Our first look. It was the most memorable because aside from wanting to do something untraditional, I wanted to see him before the wedding so I would not cry during the bridal walk, he always makes me feel calm and also, because we don’t want to rent a bridal car (to save money, of course!), we opted for the first look so we can drive together going to the Church. It was hitting two birds with one stone!
Do you have advice for other couples planning their wedding?
Enjoy the planning and do it together. It’s difficult to plan a wedding, let alone plan it during this pandemic. Don’t let yourself be stressed out with all the changes in the protocol, think ahead and have plans A-C! It wouldn’t hurt to be prepared. Make it intimate and interactive. During our wedding, we made sure it is a family event by highlighting our families. Both of our families performed during the reception and the messages we received were really from our closest relatives and friends.
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Also, be practical! Our wedding was a very low-budget wedding, but we pulled it off. Our prizes for the wedding games were hilarious! We had a whitening package (Kojic soap), spa package (honey spa salt), appliance showcase (rechargeable mini fans), and buffet for two (Jollibee promo cards with 200 pesos!) The guests loved it! Spend only within the budget, it’s a one-day event, plus we are in a very unpredictable time.
